Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Doctor to me: "You're not sick, you have cancer."

Wait ..... What?

I was still puzzling that one through when he went on to say my blood counts were so poor that I couldn't have chemo. I need another adjective. I'm too _____ to have chemo, but I'm not sick.

Quick, someone, find me an adjective!

This is the Catch-22 of cancer. You can't have chemo if you're too, uhhhhhh, where's that adjective?!? Of course, now that I'm away from the doctor's office I have all sorts of questions. 

Seriously though, we have reached the long-dreaded point where there is nothing more they can do for me. At this time. What I need is for the FDA to approve a new drug or for a clinical trial to open for a Myeloma drug. Apparently there are 2 drugs out there that would probably work for me but the FDA is dragging
its lead feet.

So, I paint! Art is a great healer. Passion and art. I've believed that all along.

The specialist (we call him The Big Guy) that I see every 6 months told me the reason I'm doing so well is because the illness isn't the main focus of my life. He's right. I have many things more important to me than cancer. I pretty much ignore it, actually.

Who says denial is a bad thing?

Now, quick! Find me that adjective while I go out and do some passionate junking!


  1. I can't think of a word that is polite! I don't know what to say except I'm so sorry. Keep painting and I'll offer up a prayer.

  2. I am sorry the medical community feels that chemo is the only answer. I pray for you to get better. I have a few suggestions to look at, what's it going to hurt, the doctors already told you they can't help. I lost my aunt to breast cancer, she took chemo. My dad was told he had 6 months to live, that was 2.5 years ago, he refused treatment and is going strong. My suggestions are , mercola , and Westin A Price. There are natural things that can help like aluminum free baking soda and hydrogen peroxide. I pray something will help.

  3. Ohhhhh...I'm so sorry. Chills the heart when they say that. And I agree with Rachel...alternatives. What, indeed, do you have to lose when the Drs. give you up. I, too, pretty much ignore that I had cancer and live my life but that would be hard if the cancer reared it's ugly head again. I'm here for you if you need to rant! xo

  4. D.......I love you. You visualized so many things.......visualize you...without cancer. We will do that as well....power in numbers sweet pea. I miss u.

  5. Hugs! Many hugs! Keeping fingers crossed, prayers said, anything I can think of. Hang in there sweetie and keep on junking!

  6. My goodness, what can I say. Prayers for you.
    Thank you so much for visiting my blog. I love your work and I especially like that beautiful school desk/chair you have on your store.
    May God continue to give you strength.

  7. I just discovered your blog today. I love your painting furniture projects.
    I can only say that my heart goes out to you. I lost my Dad to cancer. I literally despise cancer. I have said a prayer for you since reading your blog. DO NOT give up. Picture your body healing itself in your mind when you go to sleep at night. Push that doctor to get you on the experimental meds program. I have always felt that the FDA was wrong in it's refusal to allow cancer patients access to new meds. What have they got to lose? It may save your life. Don't listen to any doctor who tells you to give up. Leave that office and find another doctor who practices on the cutting edge of medical technology. I think you are brave and strong. God be with you and bless you on this journey to healing.